
The Unspoken
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This blog is dead. That's sort of the reason why I'm even here. No one checks this blog so... maybe this is a good place to start saying things I'm probably going to regret saying soon.
I know things haven't been going so well for us, there's been obstacles coming, one after another, and each one harder to overcome than the one before. I'm getting tired but, I can't give up. We musn't give up. I hope I'm not being too cryptic or anything, I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. Then again, I'm sort of hoping you won't look at this. I know it's not good to keep things under covers, to pretend that everything's fine, but it's hard to just face the problem too. I don't have the courage to do something like that. I'm not sure I ever will.
Things are getting harder for us, I know. But we definitely aren't going to give up on each other, so we musn't give up on ourselves either. Time will tell how strong a relationship truly is, and I think cracks are starting to show. Slowly, you probably aren't even going to notice it, till it all just breaks apart. And I think things are breaking apart. Sometimes I ask myself why we can't be like those kindergarden children. They cry, but after a while, it's alright again. My parents say that's stupid, to cry over small things and smile again as soon as the tears are gone. But I don't think it's stupid at all. It's much better than keeping things hidden and crying yourself to bed at night.
I don't know whether I'm making any sense, but I just want to say what I feel, and this is it. As clear and as straight-forward as it will get. No one can hide things for long. People feel guilt, they feel that it's wrong, even when they're making white lies. No one can act that well. So, when you say something that's not true, I can tell. Well, I think I can tell. Maybe it's just me and my suspicions. But either way, it doesn't feel good.
And the worst thing is that I know you are going through tough times, that your life isn't fair. I know I've got it a whole lot better than you, I know I'm fortunate not to have a problem like you have. I hate how it hurts so much, but feeling that I have no right to cry, because I have absolutely no idea how it feels.
I know that years from now, you'll look back and you'll think of us, or maybe it'll just slip your mind. I can't help hoping that it will. Because I've never been a really good friend to many of you. When you have problems, all I can do it feel bad. And that's not alot of help. I hate to think that 15 years from now, you may be somewhere, anywhere on this earth, looking at yourself and thinking that you don't like what you see. Then you'll think back on your life, trying to find a reason why, and my face is going to be one of those things that just automatically pop into your mind. So I'm hoping you'll just forget. Just laugh through your times with me as your friend and forget, as soon as it's over.
I can't help thinking that it's partly my fault, for just watching you stumble and fall.
I don't know what else to say except, please don't give up on yourselves and I'm sorry.
Ly-Shan.
Double Agents 5:09 PM
Recently, our group was sent to analyze a suspect named "Lady Gaga". Labels: Shane
We found nothing wrong with her songs, but only that her Music Videos are all categorized as highly disturbing ._.
Lee and Xev are heavily injured during a mission coded 310921.
And are incapable of doing anything except stoning.
So it's just me.
Double Agents 7:02 PM
Sorry people, Lee and I went for seperate and LONG TERMED mission overseas. Labels: Shane
While Xev did a secret mission on a secret organisation called...
L.I.B.R.A.R.Y
It stands for Let It Burn and Ruin All Rocky Youths.
Scary name?
Yup, I agree.
Sorry that we are rather inactive lately
But we were on a-break-that-migh-seems-like-a-holiday-except-we-agents-never-get-holiday.
Sad thing, right?
I agree too.
Our leader ordered us to watch Sherlock Holmes on the 29th.
Not for pleasure, it is never for pleasure.
It is to
ANALYSIS the smartness of Sherlock
(But Xev claims that he looks rather stupiaaad)
And LEARN from him
(And Xev said, "We are supposed to learn from this guy, even Watson looks smarter)
And here, I would like to say to Xev,
MY DEARDEAR FRIEND,
DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY THE COVER.
BUT I WAS ACTUALLY SURPRISED THAT YOU HATE THE SHERLOCK IN THE MOVIE.
HE LOOKS UGLY.
AND I THOUGHT YOU LOVE UGLY GUYS.
LIKE MR. BRAIN??
LOVE,
SHANE.
Double Agents 12:41 PM
Hello. Agent Lee here.
Missions have ended.
and we're all having a break.
But why do I feel so empty?
Like something's missing.
During your missions, you're busy.
You do things.
Now...
It's as if you don't know what to do.
no direction
just doing things that are fun
but don't really have a purpose.
but missions.. do they have a purpose?
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Someday I hope...
We will find out why we do
What we're doing.
Although sometimes...
It feels like we never will.
Bye! (:
Agent Lee. Over.
P.S. Chocolate marshmallows rock my life! :D
Double Agents 10:00 AM
Agent Lee reporting.
Double Agents 10:21 AM
Today is the end of the test for chemical identifying Labels: Shane
Double Agents 9:32 PM
Agent Lee *wince* speaking. Labels: Lee
I still don't like that code name.
Anyway. I found the obstacles not at all challenging (ha!)
I almost failed the chinese essay test
because my walkie talkie went off suddenly
And get back started playing
Agent June started laughing :(
I don't really like agent June
She's kinda mean sometimes
But she's nice sometimes.
and now she's sick ._.
I hope she'll get well before the next mission.
Good thing Agent supervisor Tan YY (hey don't look at me I didn't start it.)
didn't notice.
So good for me I got pass that obstacle.
Whoots
Sorry for not posting.
I'm kind of busy, so I didn't do any background research for the missions coming up.
Was on agent chat just now. (MSN I mean.)
Very few agents were online.
And Agent Shane was away!!
*pouts*
Anyway, back to researching now.
Bye my dear earth dwellers.
Don't worry. We are here to save you from world domination.
Reporting Agent Lee
Over^^
Double Agents 8:33 PM
Shane here. Labels: Shane
Can you imagine how formidable Xev is?
Even what she writes on the internet can irritate me.
Seriously, and I edited her article
Why?
Xev, if any english language perfectionist is here, they would faint at your grammar.
Can you PLEASE follow instructions?
Or do you want me to staring down your neck for EVERY article you are writing?
And not to include the short forms and whatsnot.
History of sleepover was pretty manageable.
But due to lack of sleep, I dozed off after completing my section of the test.
Honestly, I got a shock when the commander woke me out.
Imagine the horror.
Anyway back to Xev.
How random is she?
All that vacuum and black hole and whatsnot?
*sigh*
Okay, I went for an extra assignment with Agent Rae.
We had to partner with Agent Ivy from CSI.
And together we captured Mrs.Peacock for murder.
She is a mafia boss and it was so tough.
But we completed it so now I am back - in one piece.
Unfortunately, we still have 3 more test before the final mission.
It is so torturous.
So I should go and prepare now.
-Shane
Double Agents 6:57 PM
Okay. This history exam? It is seriously freaking me out Labels: Xev
I don't think I would be able to overcome this giant block of obstacle
So maybe ODA will kick me out
Bye Lee.
Bye Shane.
Bye Mars.
Technically, I should be rummaging through the data-base for information
But you all heard of procrastination right?
Get use to it, I am like that, that is who I am
But seriously, the code to the database is so hard to crack
And the others are not by me now
So I am dead meat
By the way to SHANE, Agent Lau?
That is so wierd
Chemistry detection is actually fun...I like digressing:D
Then we went from chromatography to...
3D chromatography to...
Oh dear, I forgot
Vacuum...?
Vacuum cleaner!
Space to...
Ozone layer to...
Environmental issues!
Whoops! I forgot about the black holes!
So that is all for the round-up on today's mission
Wish me luck for history
It's a tough life I am living
-Xev
Double Agents 7:16 PM
Finally, after 2 and 1/2 hours, we overcame about 28 borders! Labels: Shane
But the downside?
I have to wait for them...
Double Agents 11:51 AM
Okay, we are the rainbow paintbrushes!
We receive this assignment to keep a e-diary on our missions.
(You never know when we would die on a mission, so maybe they want to keep a record...)
Umm...hi...? This is Xev.
(please don't kill me) Can I ask just HOW am I egoistic, excuse me?
There is something wrong with this e-assignment format
Like boomz:D Okay, so weird...
You guys know this current mission? Very annoying.
I'm sure you all agree, right?
And her language is horrible.
INFORMAL.
Hello? We were trained better than that!
Double Agents 10:13 AM
Data-base
Agent Shane, Lee and Xev
This is a top confidential file and you must not reveal any information to anybody unrelated to the agency. Any offender will be shot. We are trained to have no mercy, so suspects of any crime will be duly punished with no feelings. This is a project assigned to Unit 110 (Energy) and all files are untitled Credits to Shane and Lee for thinking about the idea of e-database to store on the details for the blog. Briefing over. -Shane
The information you are about to view is strictly classified, proceed with care